


Both feet on the ground

by Cana_banana



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Social Anxiety, bc Scanman and Keyleths friendship wasn't explored a lot and it has so much potential, friendship fic!, general introverted stuff i guess, just cute fluff, no ships, public speaking issues, to a degree
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 16:09:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16643471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cana_banana/pseuds/Cana_banana
Summary: “What do you want, Scanlan?”“..To ask if you’re okay, after the meeting today.” His voice was nonchalant, but then again, not really. There was something else weaved with it, if not worry, then perhaps sympathy. “You seemed kinda rattled.” When he didn’t get an answer, he sighed and looked at the sky momentarily, before looking at her again. She didn’t meet his eye.“Listen, you don’t have to talk about it, at least not to me, of all people.. But you’re not very good at hiding your feelings.” Another expectant pause. “It’s okay to be upset.”And that was it.[In other words, exploring an underrated friendship between Keyleth and Scanlan - Oneshot!)





	Both feet on the ground

**Author's Note:**

> In which Keyleths finds an unexpected source of comfort, but then again, maybe not so unlikely.

Keyleth had always found gardening a source of comfort. Especially since the gardens in Greyskull felt like they were _hers_. She took care of them a lot because she enjoyed it, and sure, she could sprout plants at will, but when there was no rush, the organic growth of the plants was more satisfying. It was always more beautiful to her, to see the slow twisting of vines and relaxed bloom of the spring flowers.

There was something soothing it. That, just as much as feeling the cold soil between your fingers, and watching clear waterdrops fall from freshly watered leaves. It made her feel.. Peaceful, grounded. She always tried her best to be, but it was part of her nature to have her head in the clouds.

 

Maybe something to do with being raised with the Air Ashari.

 

It was a part of herself that she loved, and took great pride in. After all, Keyleth always had role models, she’d loved that about her upbringing. Her mother, more from the stories than the little she remembered, was a source of inspiration for her, something to live up to. And where stories had fallen short, her father and elders and peers had turned that inspiration into determination and as much skill as they could before sending her into the world, unto the path of the Aramente.

 

Ah, the Aramente… A mission, a test, an exercise to develop the leadership skills necessary to lead a people. Something she’d possibly, potentially, probably have to do someday, which really, was a lot to ask for her in her opinion, it wasn’t like these trials would officially train her to be a practiced _leader_ in that sense of the word--

  


“Kiki, is there a particular reason that you’re watering your boots?”

 

Keyleth startled, so much in fact that she almost threw the watering jug into the air.

 

“..Because if this is some druid ritual thing, I can leave?”

 

“No, no, it isn’t, I was just.. In thought.”

 

“Yeah, no kidding. I could hear you thinking from 20 feet away.”

 

She recognized the voice long before she saw the face, but it was like that with all of them. Still, she turned, mostly out of politeness.

 

Before her stood their resident gnome bard, arms crossed relaxedly, but watching her with some degree of attentiveness. She didn’t know how long he had been standing there, which said something about how far in thought she had been.   
Just like she was wearing a simple tunic and some breezy leggings, he wasn’t dressed for showmanship today. That didn’t mean he didn’t look put together; She suspected that Scanlan could put on a potato sack and convince the public that it was the newest fashion piece.

 

‘Not that he was. Wearing a potato sack, that was. Keyleth noticed that he was lacking the pompous purple that most of his wardrobe was characterised by. Instead, he was just wearing brown pants, dark boots and a pale shirt, with the only hint of color being the golden band holding his hair in an immaculate ponytail.

 

Keyleth suddenly felt very dirty.

 

“Do you need anything, Scanlan? Otherwise I’m gonna get back to my..” She wafted her hand in the general direction of the flower bed she had been watering, “..Druid stuff.”

 

Scanlan eyed her incredulously, “I can’t walk the gardens in my own home and say hi to my friend without being accused of needing anything? I am hurt, Keyleth, hurt!”

 

She cracked a smile against her will at the theatricality of the accusation. Scanlan’s mock-offended expression fell into a smile of his own upon seeing hers and he waved his hand dismissively. “No, I don’t need anything. I just wanted to let you know that, if you feel like joining, Grog, Pike and I are going to the Laughing Lamia tonight to get waaasted!”

 

He almost sing-sang the last part and Keyleth considered it for a moment before frowning, “There’s the council meeting tomorrow. You sure that’s a good idea?”

 

“Of course it’s a good idea. I only have good ideas!”

 

And of course it had been his idea. “I think I’ll pass.” Keyleth said, “But thanks for the offer. you guys have fun, okay?”

 

As if to say ‘suit yourself’, Scanlan shrugged exaggeratedly and waved his hand as he made to leave. “Alright - I’ll see you at the meeting tomorrow!” Before heading past her, towards the second door to the inside of the keep across the courtyard, “Remember to water your other boot, wouldn’t want them to grow unevenly!”

 

Keyleth looked down to her sopping wet left boot and smiled to herself.

  
  
  
  


It was the Sovereign who had called a meeting for the Council of Emon. Not for any particular reason, simply a routine meeting to discuss various issues and forthcoming events and the like. Vox Machina, as an official part of the council, was invited to come, but not under strict obligation. After all, it was known that they were adventurers, and sometimes, simply not available - But the group had pretty unanimously agreed that if they were around, they should go.

Their ideas were sometimes unorthodox, but sometimes, that was called for. If nothing else, they could at least weigh in.

 

Keyleth envied people like Percy and Scanlan for feeling so at ease in such revered company. Like they didn’t have to mind their manners at all, it came to naturally to them to speak to royalty and advisors using all the correct terms and phrases.

Even the twins and Pike had a pretty solid approach to it. The twins had a natural tendency to roll their eyes at higher-ups, but to be fair, they had still grown up with it and in this company, they genuinely had no reason to be problematic. It didn’t mean that they felt entirely comfortable with it (Keyleth knew, because Vex had told her about it previously, and she could see the resting tension in Vax’ shoulders from the moment they entered, until they left).

 

Pike was just.. Pike. It didn’t matter if she fumbled, that was just Pike being cute, and as a cleric of Sarenrae, she had a certain likeability and trustworthyness about her, if someone (miraculously) didn’t just fall in love with Pike instantly. She was so passionate about helping people, that she was always taken seriously.

 

The only one, Keyleth suspected, who truly understood her discomfort was Grog. Dear Grog, who looked sour whenever they had to go, hated having to wear formal clothes (and often just, didn’t), and who said very little, unless it regarded tactics, fighting or alcohol, and by extension, taverns.

  


It was funny, because by all means, Keyleth _should_ feel comfortable in this type of company. Her father was the headmaster of her tribe, she was raised taking part of discussions involving the future of her people, she was on the Aramente to _become_ the leader of her people!

 

And it was funny, except it wasn’t, because if she felt uncomfortable being in the presence of leaders, how could she ever be one of them?

  


“...Well, the farmers are not equipped to deal with it was it stands right now. It may not be a big problem, but we simply cannot tell how much worse it’s going to get.”

 

“It certainly does not bode well for our harvest if it continues like this.. Lady Keyleth, do you perhaps have a good suggestion for how to handle this? I believe you are the most equipped person in our ranks, currently, in terms of skillset.”

 

Keyleth found herself staring at the Sovereign and it was like there was a blockade in her brain, preventing her from processing his words any further. Uriel was staring back at her and _oh god_ he had spoken to her, and everyone was looking at her now, expecting an answer--

 

“Wh-what?”

 

The Coinmistress looked at Uriel awkwardly before clearing her throat and locking eyes with Keyleth. “Ah.. The weeds, in the farms.” She said slowly, as if to gauge whether Keyleth knew what she was talking about, “They’re growing more rapidly than they have been the last few years, and it’s choking some of the crops…”

 

“Oh! Oh, uh, yes, no, of course.” This time, it was Keyleth to cleared her throat. She had been listening, she’d just spaced out. “W-Well, I think that…”

 

She looked around. They were all watching her, had watched her fumble in an awkward silence, were staring at her, just waiting for a response.

 

“T-The weeds probably have t-taken roots lower…”

 

_All eyes just staring, waiting, expecting an answer, why wasn’t she answering?_

 

She feels the heat crawl up her neck and _when did it get so warm in here?_

 

“..L-lower than…”

 

Her mouth feels like cotton, her throat is so _dry_ and she feels like her mind is diffused, almost, unable to form a single coherent thought other than _say something say something say something_

 

“Uh…”

 

She wants to hide. There’s nothing she’d rather do right now than crawl into a hole in the ground. Her hands are shaking slightly, there’s a burn in her eyes, and she feels so aware of all the eyes and the _silence_ in the room and her own voice seems so loud and--

 

Something grounds her by touching her arm and bringing her back from a whirlwind of thoughts and she registers out the corner of her eye that a small figure dressed in purple moves slightly next to her and his smooth voice fills the hulking silence of the room.

 

“If I may,” Scanlan looks out over the council confidently, rests his hand on Keyleths arm for a second longer, before proceeding, “I think what Keyleth has wisely picked up on, is that the weeds have probably taken root lower than crops, which explains why the farmers can’t seem to rid of them. Leaving it to be is risky, since they likely will just grow and become a bigger problem. Coinmistress, if you can precure a few items…”

 

His voice faded then as he went on to suggest some spells and mention remedies that he’d ‘heard about in his travels, that could be of use’. Keyleth lowered her eyes to trace patterns in the wooden table. Her heart was beating as if she’d been running, and she felt mildly nauseous.

 

She heard Vex weigh in. Then Seeker Asum. But she didn’t pay the conversation any more mind, just trying to not draw further attention to herself and calm her frazzled mind without appearing too out of it.

  
  


At the end of the meeting, Keyleth still felt unsettled, but she pulled herself together enough to at least make a little polite conversation with Asum before excusing herself and quickly heading outside.

 

The fresh air made her feel like she could breathe again, and she watched the blue sky with a tinge of disappointment in her chest for her own behaviour.

 

“Oh you guys, since we’re already here, I need to go get a few things.” Vex quickly interjected before the collective group could head out, and Grog immediately responded with a loud groan.

 

“We were just in a boring meetin’, and now you wanna go shopping? I’m not comin’.”

 

Vax snorted a laugh and patted Grog on the upper arm, “Perhaps you should go punch some poor dummy to death instead then, yea?”

 

Grog said something that Keyleth didn’t quite catch, mostly because Vex looked to her next with a winning smile and Pike beaming beside her. “You wanna come, Keyleth? We’re gonna go shopping!”

Under ordinary circumstances, Keyleth would have immediately joined. She loved going to town with the others, it was such a fun time.

  
But today… After the meeting, she felt exhausted, more exhausted than she should be, not to mention embarrassed. She rubbed her neck and sighed, smiling apologetically at her girlfriends. “I’m a bit tired, I think I’ll just head back to the keep.”

  


In the end, she was the only one who walked back to Greyskull right away. Pike, Percy, Vex and Vax went shopping, while Grog and Scanlan went to do… Whatever they were off to do.

 

The walk home was a bit of a fuzz. She greeted Jarett and Natibe at the wall when she entered and then went directly to the garden to take care of her plants.

  
  


She didn’t take care of them for very long, because she kept getting caught in her own head, furthering her own frustration since she couldn’t even focus on this one task. She kept repeating the meeting in her head, replaying over and over how _bad_ she must’ve looked, how tactless and unprofessional she had appeared by not answering the Sovereigns direct question to her, leaving the whole room to instead listen to her stutter, and not even come up with a constructive input.

 

The same heat from earlier that day burned in the back of her neck, and her breath felt shorter and now her eyes were burning. She kicked off her boots to feel the soil and grass under her feet, but it didn’t help. Angrily, she set the jug on the ground and paced aimlessly around the garden.

 

It wasn’t too long before she gave up on this too, and instead sat down alongside the wall, where a shadow was being cast already. She hugged her knees to her chest and tried to ignore the tears pressing on.

  
  
  


This time, unlike the last, she did hear when someone approached her in the gardens. It had been a few hours at most since she arrived back, and normally a shopping trip with the girls took longer than that. In a quick attempt to salvage some of her dignity, the half-elf wiped her eyes with her sleeve and straightened her back a little.

She’d been sitting in the same position for a while now, and felt her back complain slightly at the movement.

 

“I’m starting to think that you want to be found.” Scanlan eyed her with an expression she couldn’t read, but that wasn’t a surprise, she rarely could with him. “If you’re trying to hide, I’d suggest finding a new place. This isn’t particularly discreet.”

 

She didn’t answer him. “What are you doing back already? I would think you and Grog to have destroyed some poor innkeepers’ property by now.”

 

“You think very little of me, Kiki.”

 

“Yeah, well, you are little.”

 

That last part was muffled into the bottom of her dress when she closed her eyes and buried it in the fabric at her knees, but Scanlan still chuckled. He didn’t come with a snarky response, nor did he pretend to be offended. In fact, the silence was so unnerving that she eventually looked up to find the gnome still just watching her. Her patience wavered.

 

“What do you want, Scanlan?”

 

“..To ask if you’re okay, after the meeting today.” His voice was nonchalant, but then again, not really. There was something else weaved with it, if not worry, then perhaps sympathy. “You seemed kinda rattled.” When he didn’t get an answer, he sighed and looked at the sky momentarily, before looking at her again. She didn’t meet his eye.

 

“Listen, you don’t have to talk about it, at least not to me, of all people.. But you’re not very good at hiding your feelings.” Another expectant pause. “It’s okay to be upset.”

  


And that was it. Scanlan could have said anything in the world ( _of course he’d know the right words_ ), but the simple acknowledgement that it was okay to be upset made her shrink and press her face further into the fabric as new tears began to push forward.

 

She was good friends with all of Vox Machina, considered all of them family, but her and Scanlan weren’t necessarily the closest of them all.

 

“I just..” Keyleth groaned frustratedly, and put her head against the wall behind her, staring mindlessly upwards, refusing to meet Scanlan’s eyes. “If I can’t even speak in front of what, like, 15 people, how am I supposed to lead a whole tribe?” That, really, was what this was mostly about. The core of the issue. She knew that, she just didn’t want to face it - Like with so many things.

 

“I got so nervous when Uriel was talking to me, and I just _couldn’t answer him_ \- And it was about plants! That’s _my thing_ ! It’s what I’m good at, and I couldn’t even tell him how to fix a weed problem, just because they were _looking_ at me!” Keyleths voice became increasingly louder, and more shrill as the frustrations tumbled out of her like water from a broken dam. “You answered them! And you’re not… You’re not a druid! You haven’t learned about how to do this your whole life, and yet you could still give a much more satisfying answer! I _hate_ that.. That I can’t do that!”

 

Just like in the meeting, she didn’t feel like she was in control of her own words, except this time, too many came out instead of too few.

She stared back at the plants and sprigs ahead of them as they wavered gently in the small, passing breeze.

 

Scanlan finally moved to stand next to her, leaning against the wall and following her gaze. “So?” He said, “What are you going to do about it?”

 

A flash of anger seized her chest and she clenched her fists, biting down on her own tongue. This was exactly why she didn’t want to share this with _him_ . Scanlan didn’t _care_ , why would he? No, let’s kick the person already on the ground, that’s exactly something he would do.

 

Before she could grit anything at him, he spoke again, “Are you just gonna stop talking forever?”

 

He looked at her.

 

“What? No, I can’t do that-- It’s not like you guys are gonna be around forever.” No they weren’t, actually they could all die at any given moment - Well that’s fucking reassuring. “I’ll just have to figure out how to do it… It just.. Sucks that it’s so difficult.”

 

Keyleth felt her anger mellow slightly as she said that and finally peered back at the gnome. When she was sitting and he was standing, they were almost at eye level - He was a little bit taller.

 

This time, he was still wearing the clothes from the council, and looked a lot more like himself in the sense that she was used to. Nice, purple silks with golden trims and billowing pants, an elegant belt with a few things (among that, a coin purse) hanging from it. The ponytail was still held by the same, golden band in the same, perfect ponytail.

 

Then, he smiled at her, and it was a smile so different from the practiced one at the council, or in negotiations or performances. It was confident, still, but she suspected it always was. While confident, though, this one was kinder, softer than he would allow most to see.

 

Scanlan was a trickster, and his facade was nearly always a mystery to those around him, and while it could easily be so now, too, it felt genuine. Keyleth hoped it was.

 

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I’m a master of words if i do say so myself,” Not tooting his own horn, right - “And I was lucky to always have a knack for such endeavors.”

 

And this was supposed to help her how?

 

“And I’m _good_ at it, but it’s a skill.”

 

Keyleth sourly looked ahead. It felt like he was just rubbing salt in the wound.

 

“Keyleth,” Scanlan must have noticed that she averted his gaze and touched her arm again, just like in the council, and she watched as his self-assured pose leaning against the wall fell and he just stood next to her, still with that gentler smile. “Speaking is a _skill_ . Leading is a _skill_. You know what that means? It means you can gain it, you can improve it. You can be good at it or not to begin with but regardless, it can be taught.”

 

There was a momentary silence, and when she said nothing, he continued.

 

“You know what’s not a skill? Caring. Wanting to be better. You can’t teach people that, not really. You can be the best talker in the world and be the shittiest leader on the planet, but you can’t fuck it up completely if you are _genuinely_ trying.” His smile turned into a smirk for a second, “Of course, you can also be a the best talker in the world while being the _best_ leader in the world, like _me,_ ”

 

Keyleth cracked a smile.

 

“..But it’s not a given.” The gnome lifted her hand from her and walked to block her view of the plants, standing in front of her. “If you wanna learn how to charm an audience, that’s my jam! I can teach you a thing or two about making people think you’re the smartest person in the world.” He winked at her, and Keyleth felt the tension that had taken a grip of her shoulders over the past hours relax, if only somewhat.

 

“..Thanks, Scanlan. I think I’d like that, maybe.”

 

The gnome she had familiarized herself with over some years now returned to his ordinarily bright self as he straightened and clapped his hands together. “Excellent! Now, all I need in terms of payment will be 3000 gold pieces and a statue of me to commend the goodness I inspire--”

 

“How about I just don’t tell Pike about the time you and Grog destroyed her Sprinters Boots because you wanted to see if Grog could run up a wall if he went fast enough?”

 

She’d seen it happen one evening, just because she was sitting outside and watching the stars. In a drunken stupor, the rag-tag pair had snatched them to play with, and after Grog effectively broke his own nose running into a wall (Scanlan luckily administering a quick heal to fix that while buckling over from laughing), they’d discovered that the left sole had torn a hole after tearing across the walls and ground hopelessly on Grog’s far too big feet.

 

It took two days of Pike wondering where she could have misplaced them before Scanlan somehow (she didn’t wanna know how - It could be an honest purchase, but knowing him, it hadn’t been) obtained an almost identical pair and cleverly ‘discovered’ that Pike had left them in the library.

 

Keyleth had said nothing about it, just having followed for her own fun. Since the boys had replaced them, there was no harm, she figured.

  


Scanlan watched her blankly for one second, then another before sighing, yet again with his theatricality, “Well played, druid, well played.”

 

She knew that he hadn’t actually intended to claim the price he set. She could tell - Maybe, probably because he allowed her to do so.

 

“That’s already your first lesson there - If you wanna make sure to make a deal with confidence, digging up blackmail on the person you’re dealing with pretty much ensures the, well, deal.”

 

“Scanlan!”

 

“What? It’s not like it always comes up, it’s just good, just in case!”

  


Keyleth stood up from the ground and dusted off her clothes (albeit to little effect). She heard laughing down the hall, and Scanlan didn’t stop to check if she was following before beginning to march in the general direction of the sound. “Lessons start tomorrow! Don’t worry, I’m a late sleeper!”

 

His small form vanished into the keep and Keyleth fiddled with the hem of her dress, before letting the last stress fade from her posture and smiling privately. Even if those lessons ended up being bullshit and useless, it was a reassuring thought.

 

She looked up to the exit of the gardens to see the source of laughter; Vax was making faces at Vex behind her back, causing her to push him over and knock into Grog, who pushed him back way too hard as Vex sidestepped and watched her brother fall forwards and almost take Percy down with him. Pike laughed and Scanlan had just, it seemed, joined the troupe, glowering and complaining loudly (already) at Trinkets attempts to lick his face.

 

Vex looked over and met her eye, and brightened.

 

“Kiki! Come on, we bought some really cool stuff, you gotta see it!”

  


Yeah. This was okay.

 

She was okay.

 

“Hang on, I’ll just…” Keyleth eyed her boots on the ground with the intention of putting them back on, but decided against it. It was nice to feel the ground under your feet.

 

“Nevermind, I wanna see what you found!”

 

She was a fucked up, messy and confusing person, but that was okay, she thought, as she went off to join her fucked up, messy, confusing, perfect family.

**Author's Note:**

> To no-ones surprise, I love my Reluctant Team Dad and I think it's fun to explore his relationships with Vox Machina. Might make a part two of this, either showing the 'payback' from Keyleth to Scanlan, or to explore more friendships, so give a word if you'd like to see it! I hope you enjoyed this little 'slice of life'! <3


End file.
